↓ click ↓ the turkey ↓
At around 3 o’clock in the afternoon on May 16th, 2003, we received news that the beloved monarch of the animal kingdom, Midas, was forcefully wrested from the confines of her watery residence. Following this abduction, we dispatched a special unit for search and rescue.
We arrived on site at the koi pond located on the University of California Santa Cruz’s campus, where we inspected the scene. Unfortunately, any evidence of Midas’ disappearance was removed from the original site. We discovered hours later the weapons and tools used to commit the crime--including a beer bottle and skillet in which Midas was cooked--were later moved to a fraternity.
We reached out to MTV’s camera crew where we conducted several interviews to the witness of this murder. Video was taken of the fraternities actions, with live recordings of the brutal murder. Midas was beaten several times with beer bottles and later dragged to the chambers of the fraternity. Already beaten, she was later scaled and dropped into a large pot of hot oil, where she was fried and eaten by members of the fraternity.
It is with great sadness that we admit our failure to protect and serve the animal kingdom of UCSC, and on this day, formally disband the Guardians of UCSC.
We reached out to MTV’s camera crew where we conducted several interviews to the witness of this murder. Video was taken of the fraternities actions, with live recordings of the brutal murder. Midas was beaten several times with beer bottles and later dragged to the chambers of the fraternity. Already beaten, she was later scaled and dropped into a large pot of hot oil, where she was fried and eaten by members of the fraternity.
It is with great sadness that we admit our failure to protect and serve the animal kingdom of UCSC, and on this day, formally disband the Guardians of UCSC.